Goth namers, fairy namers, Juelz and Purse-a-phone

Original post September 25, 2005


Another foray into the world of baby naming message boards (hooray putting off the Milton paper!) yielded a new crop of "original" and "creative" names I'd never encountered before. Remember my shock in the spring when I learned that Cadence (and all variations) was a name? Yeah. So imagine my surprise when today I found out that Poet was a name.

User mommy_at_15 says: WDYT of Poet Sienna Rose? I saw it in a magazine... I say, if you saw it in a magazine, then it must be good! It's apparently the name of Punky Brewster's daughter - ANOTHER POINT in its favor!! One mother wants us to vote between Syenna Nikol (Syenna is pronounced Sigh-enna) and Rianna Poette. One savvy user points out, "I'm sorry but "Syenna Nikol vs. Rianna Poette" looks like a mudwrestling marquee!" Another makes a very astute remark: "I don't mean to single you out specifically, but every time I see a post with names like these, I shake my head and wonder if people are purposely trying to breed an entire generation of strippers and pornstars."

Sienna/Syenna is another up-and-comer, apparently. One mom on another board says, "I love the names Seienna Leone, what does everyone else think?" Personally, I think "blood diamonds." But maybe that's just me.

In my last post on this subject, you may remember my amusement at "goth" names. Guess what? There are apparently still pregnant goths out there. One lady posts "Salem? Is that a cute name for a girl or am I just insane?" She may not be insane. But a couple of these other users are:

Aisling: "I like it... sounds like a spiritual, witch like name (obviously!)."
BrokenCondom: "I think its absolutely adorable." (lol username)
a_margaret: "And Salem is obviously a boy's name, I think." OBVIOUSLY.

One Gawth Mawm asks, "Wwhat do you think of the name Salem Lucifer and December Constantine?" I think the only better name would probably be Bloodravyn Batblayde. Either way, this mom apparently knows that "Salem is OBVIOUSLY a boy's name!"

One dark but creative mother suggests:
Persephone ( purr-sef-fa-nee)Greek Goddess - lover of Hades.
Xaida (shy-da)Portuguese/Tribal name mix, meaning unknown ( Source:Parentsite)
Zahayla (zuh-hay-lah) Source:Parentsite

Xaida and Zahayla went over unsurprisingly well (though one user suggests Zaida and Xahayla). Another poster, however, was not so amused. um...wasn't Hades the keeper of hell or something like that? the greek version of the devil? Lover of the devil...wonderful name for a child. Plus, no one will EVER pronounce it correctly (purse-a-phone). Three cheers for Purseaphone.

The only thing worse than a gothic namer is a fairy namer. You know the kind I mean. The kind like this:

The Tolkein name Celeborn, I like it but how does one say it? I haven't see the Lord of the Rings Movies but I have read the books but I'm confused on how to say it. Is it K sounding or is the C like an S? I'm learning more towards the K.

For a girl, Undine. Undine is an elemental. AKA a spirit of water.

Sabrina Fair, one of my favorite users EVER, recently presented "Celestial Dawn" as one of her top picks.

A woman now very very dear to my heart just started her very own "unique names" website. Some of her fairylicious offerings include: Aetherie, Ambrosia, Enodia, Branwen, Bedivere, Caridwen, Avalon, Faerie, Freya, Flora, Gaia, Lotis, Leucothea, Lancelot, Nearia, Lamia, Mordred, Merlin, Ourania, Pasiphae, Zobiana, Urien, Seriphia etc. etc. This woman is also a big fan of taking names from world religions, great books, and creation myths and calling them "original. Bast, Dionysus, Dagon, Ganesh, Jupiter, Jehovah, Cadmus, Eurydice, Leviathan, Lear, Messiah, Mecca, Eastre, Pele, Pan, Nefertiti, Vishnu, Valhalla...

So many of these people do this sort of thing. "Hey, I liked how it sounded and took it away without consideration for its meaning!!" Case in point: on another message board, "Othella: I saw this on a baby-names site, apparently it's the feminine version of Othello. Any thoughts? I had just never heard it before. "HAY! Othello is Shakespeare, that must be smart!" Never mind the murder bit. One girl responded hilariously: Ewww, I don't like that at all makes me think of the game othello, anyone remember that one?? "HAY! Who's Shakespeare???" People are always asking what other posters think of these beautiful names they've robbed. "WDYT of Tareva-Chine. it is a native american meaning beautiful eyes". I bet it is. Know know what else I bet? That YOU'RE NOT AN INDIAN. A close relative of this sort of cultural pillaging is turning foreign words into English names. For instance: Ideha: Pronounced ee-deh- ah. Trying to reproduce the Italian pronunciation of the word "Idea" in Italian, but not keen on "idea" itself. What do you think????. I think you need to get a dictionary. And a spell-check.

Here's a good one: I know this name's a little strange(well, more than a little), but anyway here it is: Benjorah. I mixed Bengal(as in tiger)and Tora(which is Japanese for tigress)together. What do you think? I like different names, since I have a very common name(Brittany). First of all, it's obvious your name is Brittany, if you know what I'm saying. Secondly, wtf?

Once you start making crap up, things just go downhill. Would you name your daughter Juelz, pronounced Jewels? No. Next? Hamble? Sounds like the brunch special at Ihop. Quade? I rest my case. However, sometimes making crap up is better than sticking with a "real" name. Examples:
I know it is also a city in Ohio, but what do you think of Coshocton as a name?
Diesel (Dee-zall) or any other spelling variaton... ok so its pronounced like the feul you put in a car. I love this name, what does everyone else think?

I think it's time to take some of that feul and SET YOUR OVARIES ON FIRE.