Bad joke post!

Original post September 30, 2005

Hooray! The paper is in (and over a page longer than required!) and I've eaten my lunch and I can faff about on the internet once more!
While procrastinating, I found the mother lode for online hospital baby announcement links (where our good friend Orion Blaze came from). Today's browsing yielded an astonishing number of names that never should have seen the light of day. Like, really, never. Jennifer Princess is only the tip of the iceberg. That's why I am presenting these all in the form of bad jokes. Because we can only wish these names were bad jokes.

-What do you name a kid born in a tightly-knit enclave of white people? Aryan Glen, apparently.
-Who will have trouble with spelling lessons? Anikah Mersaydes, Mersadez Coreena, Myranda Neiomi, Irais Johhana, Liberti Madilin and Myracle Luella will!
-Who told Mary she was preggers? Angel Gabriel, of course!
-What's green and holds your washing machine together? A Saige Rivet!
-Why would you name your child after yogurt? Dannon Elizabeth's parents know!
-Whose parents are total sci-fi tools? I'm willing to bet Riddick's are! Atreyu Sebastian's parents are also under heavy scrutiny.
-Who is going to be the most embarrassed English major ever? Asa Isaiah Hemenway!
-Who got voted Class of 2018's "Most Likely to Be a Porn Star?" Shyann Destinee and Aysia Kyana (who, incidentally, is also going to be "Most Likely to Fail Geography")
-Which two boys born this year should be automatic best friends for bad-name solidarity? That's going to have to be Kaedyn Whiskey Lee and Jack Daniel.
-Who means business? Justice Virgil, definitely. Just as soon as he figures out those sleeves.
-Who is never going to get along with his girlfriend's father? What do you want to bet it's Eros Cuauhtemoc.

Tied for the worst today:
Crystal Rubi and Tru Joy.