Bomb Kansas

No, seriously, bomb Kansas. Forget Alabama or Gennessee. It's Kansas we need to worry about. They are crazy there! They've got a Maniya!!

They are too creative there!! Just look at Kansas June, who was born... in Kansas... in June. No, wait, this isn't the example I want.

They are too creative there!! Just look at... oh God... do I have to look at it? Just look at N'Ascent Mi'Princess D'Zyre Heavenly. I'm sorry, I had to. Surely now you are convinced that Kansas must be destroyed.

Let's send an Acelynn pilot to do it! Or perhaps we can utilize karate! Yee-ahhh! Hi-yah! Aahaysia Kamiyah!!

Rats, it's not working. Let's consult modern-day prophets Azekial Eldon (an elf?) and Ryan Michelle Leanne (a modern-day Tiresias, clearly).

Ahh, the prophets have spoken with Aunesti. In order to destroy Kansas, we must harness the power of an Ion Nolen bomb!

Damn! Hippie Native American activist Jericho Krazie Horse has spoken out against our use of the Ion Bomb! Our only option left is to hire a professional Kyllair - perhaps that is un-Kristchain, but it is absolutely necessary in these dire circumstances!

Well, it looks like we're going to have to wait for our little kyllair to grow up. Or at least turn eight. Until then, Kansas, watch your back. We've got our eyes Onya.