What REALLY goes on behind the scenes of those cute holiday photo cards? Well let me tell ya...

It's time for another installment of Chicky Family Christmas Pictures!

*Thundering cheers*

*Smattering of polite applause?*

*Fine, one lady in the back who wandered in thinking this was a sewing circle and is too embarrassed to leave. Hey lady, there's coffee in the back. Help yourself.*

If you're new to this blog you should know I have a history with photo Christmas cards. I tend to set the bar a little too high for myself, not considering the two sentient beings who are the focus of each card. They have opinions too. And their opinions suck.

But photo cards must be done and they must be perfect! For they are the only proof my children occasionally smile and love each other! Black eyes and scrapes that I Photoshop out notwithstanding.

This year's Christmas card photo session was held over two days. The first, Caroline was having nothing to do with it and screamed the entire time. The second, Caroline was having nothing to do with it and screamed the entire time. The distinction, the first day Caroline was overtired and had a head cold. The second she was being Caroline. Big difference.

On the first day we tried to take pictures of them together:

I will not smile but I will insist on holding this 8 year old dog toy that has been sitting outside for the past year. Later I will lick it when I think you're not looking.

Grimacing is almost like smiling, right?

I believe this move is called the "Step Off, Beeyotch. I'm swinging here."

On day two is was very cold but we decided to push on anyway. You know where this is going right?

I... don't know what to say.

Except, thanks dog! The random tail in the picture gives it visual interest, dontcha think?

I could go on. Forever. But I won't because I'm tired of uploading pictures to gawd damn Blogger.

We tried to take individual pictures, too. We got dozens of pictures like this from Miss I LOVE the camera! Take more pictures of ME:


And we got hundreds of pictures like this of Miss I AM A FIRESTARTER AND ANYONE WHO ANGERS ME SHALL DIE:

Actually, that was a good one. The other ones would eat your computer from the inside.

But in the end, we got our shot and the cards were created and ordered. And there they sit, on my counter, until Santa sends me some of his elves to help address them. Should be any day now.

See? Perfect children being perfectly perfect. No one will ever know! Bwahahahaha! Except all of my friends who read this blog. Shit.

I may have included a little surprise on the back. I just couldn't resist this picture.

But honestly, who could?

SOUTHERN FAMILY CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS

Some Southern family Christmas traditions stem rode over on the boat with my ancestors from jolly Old England, Scotland and France. I’m not sure how my folks picked and chose the ones to keep and which ones to toss to the side but I see more than a few right out of some of Charles Dickens’ stories.

Maybe when my kin decided to flatboat down to Natchez and New Orleans they had to make do with what they had on hand and thus the southern aspect of the holidays was born. Whatever the origin of their festivities, Southerners have their own way of celebrating Christmas. Contrary to popular opinion, not all of them involve discharging firearms into the night sky or sitting around a still waiting on some unsuspecting Yankee to happen by to have a little fun with.

Most of my favorite holiday traditions involve food. For the main meal, the meat has to be impressive. A huge, golden turkey or ham decorated with pineapple slices and red maraschino cherries are the optimal choices. However, one year when I was a kid we had a standing crown rib roast. I can remember wondering if the decorations on the ribs were edible. These Christmas menus could not be categorized as southern family Christmas traditions as they date back centuries.

Return to Oooh Baby Baby Parenting and Environmental Issues to see more Christmas menu ideas and how we are spending the holidays.


However, there is one unique family Christmas tradition that may be completely southern or at least American in origin. That would be our Christmas breakfast menu.

Here is what was on the breakfast menu on Christmas day every year when I was growing up.

• Quail
  
• Angel or Bride’s Biscuits
  
• Gravy
  
• Homemade Preserves

At times the quail were smothered in gravy and there were times when I seem to remember that they were southern fried kind of like chicken. Perhaps the reason that this meal stands out in my memory is because it was never repeated at any other time of year. I will list more of my southern family Christmas traditions after I mark a few items off my list of Christmas details to take care of before tomorrow.

Homemade Christmas Gifts

Did you hear more homemade Christmas gifts will be given and that sales of craft items are up even in the midst of the financial crisis? Well, that's what the newswires have reported. The increase in sales was impressive enough to merit a press release stating the numbers.

The reason for the spike was reported to be that more people are having to make their own Christmas gifts because of a lack of funding for store bought items. If you are a crafter, you know this is a big bunch of bull.

Before you come at me with paint brush loaded for bear, let me explain. Homemade Christmas gifts are BETTER and if you are smart (shall we say crafty?) you can save some money. However, you know as well as I do unless you have been crafting for awhile you can go broke buying supplies and end up spending more than if you had just gone on and bought perfume and neckties as in holidays of the past.

But you would have to kick off your plan to make your own Christmas presents much earlier than late October or November, my friend. That is unless you have only one person to buy for on your list. Homemade quilts, knitted sweaters and crocheted afghans take more than a little time to complete.

What I would like to believe is that people are turning to handmade gifts because
homemade Christmas gifts are unique and personalized, not because they are cheap.

CHRISTMAS DINNER MENUS

I have been suffering over possible Christmas dinner menus. Somehow the thought of basting a turkey and stuffing myself with dressing so soon on the heels of Thanksgiving is not appealing.

I have polled the kin who will be attending to see if they will be sad without a traditional Christmas dinner. You might be wondering what a traditional, southern holiday meal might include. At our house that would be a combination or all of the following:

• A golden brown basted turkey to serve as a centerpiece and an extra baked turkey breast so nobody gets mad if the white meat is gone before they get a slice.
  
• Two large jellyroll pans full of cornbread dressing with a pitcher of special gravy to pour over it which works wonders if for some reason the dressing is dry.
  
• Sweet potato casserole using one of several different recipes
  
• A crock-pot full of slow simmered green beans or green bean bundles
  
• Molded cranberry salad.
  
• Yeast rolls
  
• Gallons of sweet iced tea
  
• Desserts
  

Since we had turkey for Thanksgiving and the thought of doing it again is not appealing. I'm researching Christmas dinner menus for baked ham and all the trimmings.

Do you have a website that has a good recipe or some Christmas dinner menu ideas that include something festive besides turkey? Please let me know about it in the comment section, quickly. I need to make up my mind so that I can make a grocery list so that I can go shopping for the ingredients before tomorrow.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas in 2008

I’m sure most of us remember the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas from the Dr. Seuss book. Remember that poor little puppy dog with antlers strapped to the top of his head that pulled the wicked Mr. Grinch up and down the mountains? The little fellow skidded and tumbled and made his way through the shoulder high snowdrifts only to make his way to Who-ville where the mean creature that had cracked the whip to drive him onward slithered his way into sweet little Cindy Lou Who's house to steal the gifts from under the Christmas tree. For that matter, if memory serves me, he stole the tree along with everything else.

I said all that to say that in my opinion, the news is the Grinch of 2008. I can scarcely turn on the car radio or the television without being bombarded with the percentages that major retailers project their sales will have dropped when compared to 2007. My oldest daughter heard one such report with a catch phrase that went something like "Worst Christmas in a Decade". She was very curious to know exactly what a "decade" was. I believe that she thought it was some kind of Christmas stocking or a place where presents were dropped off by the jolly old elf himself.

This put me in the less than enviable position of having to explain economic slowdowns in words that a four year old could fathom. I can remember asking my mom, "Why did the Grinch hate Christmas"? She never had an answer for me because she probably felt that I would not understand. I felt her pain as even with my best efforts, this child could not understand what all this had to do with Christmas.
She simply could not make the connection between Jesus and sub-prime mortgages even when explained in the simplest of terms. Then it hit me; there IS no connection.

If you want to know How the Grinch Stole Christmas in 2008, it was by making the celebration too much about purchasing power and too little about blessings of faith and the innocence of children. We may be in a recession and there may be fewer or less expensive presents given to our loved ones, but let’s rise above it and show the world that the quality of our lives is not based on purchasing power and credit limits. It would probably do us all good to get back to the basics of the holiday spirit and not to have so much focus on what we get but rather on what we have.

Return to Oooh Baby Baby Parenting and Environmental Issues to read more opinionated diatribe from this stay at home mom.

Skipping Thanksgiving - Jumping Straight from Halloween to Christmas

I know that you all have taken note that Christmas decorations and open houses were in full swing the day after Trick or Treat. Does anyone else remember when people who started hanging lights on their gutters on first day of December were thought to be jumping the gun and pushing the holidays?

I remember the year that we got our tree on the third of December. What a year for the record books! Mother had previously said that to put decorations up any earlier diminished their importance. It was her opinion that special things should be kept, well...special. We didn't question her when she announced that we could kick off the season early and started cruising the fence lines in the pastures with enthusiasm. We found a cedar that only had to have three or four feet chopped off so that we could get it in the front door and thought we were the luckiest kids in the world that we were the first to get our tree up on our block. We were the envy of our friends and looked forward every afternoon to the moment the lights were plugged in and our living room was magically transformed into a sparkling winter wonderland.

How wonderful it was to have those extra weeks of expectation and fun. As an adult and looking back, I realize that the reason she bent the rules a bit was that money was so tight that year. I can honestly say that I never noticed that mother didn't seem to be as thrilled with the early onslaught of Christmas cheer as we kids. Maybe she thought that the joy of decorating earlier than normal would divert attention from Christmas wishes that didn't get granted in the way of gifts? Whatever her thinking might have been, it must have worked. We considered ourselves the luckiest kids in town that we got our tree up before our friends!

It makes me wonder if the need for a spiritual lift is the reason that people are putting up their Christmas pretties earlier and earlier.