SOCCER MOMS aka ELITIST JERKS

First the tennis moms, now the soccer moms are getting cliquish attitudes. I make no bones about the fact that I'm too darn tired to worry every minute about fashion trends and making a personal statement thereof. I have three baby girls whose appearance says more about me than my own. I know that makes me sound codependent as all get out, but it's just a matter of pride that my girls all leave the house and look clean and well dressed for a few minutes, anyway.

Yesterday the trio and I went to a friend's birthday party at the lake. I knew as soon as I pulled into the parking lot that I was a fish out of water. I have a small SUV, (a Honda CRV to be exact) and have at times felt guilty that I didn't get a hybrid car that would get better gas mileage. In exchange for some inconvenience in stowing gear and loading and unloading children you feel better about your contribution to environmental causes. The parking lot at this party should have done away with my feelings of guilt in spades; it was filled with the biggest trucks that are sold like the Hummer, Yukon and Tahoe.

It became obvious pretty soon after our arrival that the guest list was heavy on soccer moms and their kids. Some of the kids even had on their team uniforms and were bumping a soccer ball around with their knees. I couldn't help but wonder about this, because isn't kiddy league baseball in full swing? Maybe baseball or Tee
Ball isn't as attractive to elitists as soccer?

The botox injected faces and the lips full of collagen of the soccer moms didn't bug me; I do my very best to not judge people by their appearances. But the attitudes of these unfriendly women just about made me want to lose my lunch. Amazingly, the kids all did fine but the women around the picnic table were just about to send themselves and me to an early grave with all their self-centered chitchat.

Each one ran over the other's conversation with soccer mom stories about what they had bought lately, where they were going on vacation or how their child was just so much more advanced than the other kids. One thing that struck me was how none of them had a question addressed to the other moms about anything. Everything that rolled out of their mouths sounded like sales pitch that was geared toward raising the asking price for her and her stuff.

When did people become so wrapped up in themselves that they could not care less about anybody else? When my mom used to take me visiting, the objective was to hear what other people were up to in their family. After all, don't we already know all about our own?

If you are a mature soccer mom that doesn't have a haughty attitude, fake breasts and collagen injected lips I would love to hear your side of the story. Usually I don't paint an entire segment of the population with the same brush and tomorrow I will probably have regrets. But today, the activity is rather therapeutic and feels pretty good.

The bad thing is that we have another invitation to a party next week and I'm pretty sure that the same group will be in attendance. So, this may not be the last of my soccer mom stories.